Have a conversation with yourself about how you responded to the “Blessed and Transformed” bit I just mentioned. I bet you’re saying to yourself that this Sassy Granny is full of you-know-what! What a crazy idea — no way am I willing to do that.
Let’s return to all those horrible possible shit storms I noted at the beginning of this blog: I know you don’t want to bless your son, you want to ring his neck and disown him. You don’t want to send a fruit basket to the person who just told you that you were laid off. And your husband, well that’s another matter. How about castration? What about your father? He’s been such a rock for you. You could always depend on him for guidance, and now he can’t be there for you. But, now you have the opportunity to be there for him! But how? Your life if filled with stress and upheaval. Where will you find the time or the energy?
Frustration, anger, hate, fear, worry—all roiling around inside you, stirring up the dregs of old emotional pain (SHIT) that leads to overwhelm!
There are a lot of us "Untamed Bitches” running around. I bet every woman on the planet has one hidden within them. That's scary.
Twenty years ago, a book by Elizabeth Marlow, "Handbook for the Emerging Woman," greatly influenced me and my work. It's about "awakening the unlimited power of the feminine spirit." What is so intriguing about this book are two of the chapters. I was drawn to the first chapter, "Owning the Bitch” and the fifth, "Awakening the Goddess." As far as I was concerned, this author did a massive service for all women.
In the introduction to the first chapter, Marlow describes the bitch as "a role we resort to when we don't know what else to do.” We bring out our Bitch when we don't know how to express our feelings without the threat of possibly being punished or embarrassed. We feel powerless. So we learn to use the bitch energy to "manipulate and maneuver" our way through those times. Creating the bitch is an automatic reaction in all of us, and I'm sad to say, that creation starts at a young age.
What's scary is, if left to fend for herself, there is no telling what the Untamed Bitch is capable of doing. Because, when we don't explore this part of ourselves, it keeps playing the same role over and over again. The characters in our life's production change, but the energy of the Untamed Bitch is on the loose once again. For example, a second divorce, another lost job, sleepless nights, poor health, depression, high stress — all kinds of problems keep happening. They seem different, but on an energetic level, they aren't.
My mother is a perfect example of an Untamed Bitch. She was an exceptionally opinionated woman. At her funeral, I found it interesting how her friends talked about her. They said things like, "She really told it like it is,” or "She didn't mince words." On the other hand, as her daughter, I thought she was negative and critical of others and especially me. I had my own way of interpreting her words and tone. She was a BITCH!
The crazy thing was that I had no clue how or why I felt the way I did around her. I was aware of a pressure that would build inside of me and then slowly go away. I didn't know how to separate myself from her words. I didn't know how to detach and observe as if I was part of an audience at a play staring "My Mom and Me."
A change happened when I was in my mid-30s. I'll never forget the day, "I got it!” It was all about a stupid casserole dish that I felt needed to be soaked overnight. In her usual, condescending tone, she insisted that I scrub it, dry it, and put it away.
In a flash, there it was, clarity. I was aware of the anger. I could feel the emotion rising up in me like lava in an erupting volcano. OMG! How often had I had that reaction while growing up?
I actually yelled at her and told her what a bitch I thought she was. It all came pouring out of me. Years of my raw emotions directed at her. My reaction was probably not the smartest thing I had ever done, and I don't recommend this kind of behavior.
I did feel a little better, despite my method of telling her off. But, even with that relief, I realized that I had just barely touched the tip of the iceberg—more realistically, it was the tip of the pile of SHIT that had built up in me and that I had continually added to through the years.
The lesson in all this for me was that none of this was about my mother at all. It wasn't about the dirty casserole dish or her admonishment of my washing the damn thing. It was about the play. The script I had written in my head—the one I allowed to run my life without me consciously paying admission to it. There was no Goddess Warrior, no awakened feminine spirit on the playbill. Consequently, I have paid the price with the struggles I have had with my self-esteem, my relationships, and my health.
Untamed Bitch on the Loose!
Calling all you Fabulous Feminine Females out there!
Let's talk about Processed Sewage.
All you Fabulous Feminine Females out there stop what you’re doing and take note. It’s time to take up your Goddess Warrior Shields and take a stand. You must defend yourself, not with the person you feel has wronged you somehow, but with an energy that lives inside you. An energy I’m going to call “Untamed Bitch” that you created to protect you and get you through those times when you were at a loss for what to say or how to act.
Some of you may think the B word carries with it a negative connotation. Yes, that’s possible, but for my purposes here it doesn’t. Read on and you’ll understand.
“Shit happens. Yes, I said the S word. I hope you won’t be offended by the it, but the “C” word just didn’t seem to express the emphasis or intensity I want to convey. This blog is about that brown smelly stuff in our lives and believe it or not, how to live more fully when we know how to process it!”
Do you think anyone has smooth sailing these days? You see, we go along smoothly thinking that our life is “A OK” and feels good. We get used to the calm water and expect the smooth sailing to continue. Then BAM! Something happens and a huge wave of Shit hits the fan and blows right into our face. We forgot that change is a constant element of our existence.
OMG! What do you do if your 20-year-old son calls you from jail for the third time in nine months, asking for bail? Or your boss tells you that you’re part of the company layoffs and you’ve been with the company for over 25 years? Or you find out that your husband of 30 years has been having an affair with his secretary? Or, maybe worse of all, your mother calls to tell you your father has had a heart attack? Now that’s a lot of SHIT! Let’s hope all these things never happen all at once, but no matter what we do, over time, in increments, the Shit builds up.
My father was a plumber, and as strange and gross as this may sound, he had a fascination with processed sewage. One day he came home with a load of it from our town’s sewage processing plant. He spread it on the flower bed in front of his plumbing shop. My mom planted petunias. Not just regular ones, but “double” petunias into that bed. I have to say that those petunias were so into their doubleness that the flowers they produced looked like oversized carnations. Needless to say there were a lot of WOWS from the neighbors. A friend even used some of those petunias for her small wedding.
Why am I telling you this story? We can all imagine that sewage processing plants have an awful smell that can make a person gag. But look at it this way, when our Shit is processed, “Blessed and Transformed,” the outcome can consist of infinite possibilities! Just like those beautiful double petunias that had the honor of being part of a bride’s bouquet. They became so much more than they were originally meant to be.
Goddess Warriors, what will it take for you to Bless and Transform the S*** that happens in your life? What do you do with the S*** that has a mind of its own, and always seems to be out of your realm of control? What do you do with the Crap that seems to have the ability to change form (but not through a conscious process) and fool you into thinking that somehow “this time” things are different.
Sassy Granny's Blog
Hang on! Let’s try a few more simple ideas:
Step One: Take a deep breath. The kind that reaches to your toes, then another one, and another one, and another one until you feel your feet touching the ground. If you let yourself, you can actually feel the support of the Earth under your feet. And, then it will be safe to notice that the dregs begin to settle and the cloudiness starts to clear.
Step Two: Plant your feet solidly on the ground and take up your Goddess Warrior Shield and take a stand. Visualize Wonder Woman.
Step Three: As the dregs start to clear, the world becomes less threatening, so you can gather the courage to really take a look at YOUR REACTION to the event. You have the ability to remove the energetic blinders from your eyes and stare down your emotions. Doing so makes things even more clear—so much so, that you can make a totally different choice than you have ever made before. Perhaps you no longer need to “ring your son’s neck” or “castrate your unfaithful husband.”
Step Four: Dare to ask why you allowed that situation or person to take your POWER Goddess Warrior? Finding out why you give away this precious energy can take time, but it’s worth it. These discoveries put you in a position to not only handle these issues and situations, but to learn from them and grow stronger as a result.
These steps are a start to process the SHIT in your life DIFFERENTLY! To grow beautiful flowers that exceed their potential so that you can send them to yourself and into the world as a gift, Blessed and Transformed!
How to Bless and Transform Your SHIT
In defense of my mom and all the
Mom came from a long line of women who carried their Untamed Bitches to their graves. I feel badly for these mothers and grandmothers. They were never able to awaken the Goddess Warrior — the fullness of their feminine. They didn't have a clue and had no one to help them see and integrate this energy. So they “manipulated and maneuvered” their way through their lives — their worlds.
We women of the 21st century have the opportunity to right this wrong for ourselves, and for our mothers and grandmothers. Because, as we tame our bitch, it has a vibration that not only travels back in time but also into the future for our daughters and our sons. The vibration begins for us in the present as it allows us to interact with what life has in store for us from a place of conscious awareness. That awareness gives us a position from which we can make informed decisions — informed choices on how to take positive action rather than lash out with negative raw emotion.
This is where the Goddess Warrior comes into play in our lives. She is the part of us that can take a stand with our Untamed Bitch, letting her know that we appreciate the protection that she has provided for us and that we are now in touch with our power and the infinite possibilities available for us. As a result, we can tame and train that bitch energy, and use it when we need it; not as an unconscious reaction, but as a conscious choice. After all we each have both sides—the Goddess Warrior and the Bitch, residing side by side.
Are you ready to join in the journey? Are you ready to take on the challenge? Are you ready to take up your Goddess Warrior Shield and make the changes that not only impact your life, but the lives of your family and friends. Changes that, if you dare to imagine, can impact past, present, and future generations of women. What a Blessing that we have this knowledge available to us.
Has the time come for you to tame the Bitch? Is it time for you to kick your Untamed Bitch out of the driver’s seat of your life? Is it time to get on the pathway to renewed health and wellbeing? If so, contact me for a free 30-minute discovery call at www.thrivehsv.com or email me at email@example.com . The time is NOW to take back control of your life.
Copyright Carmen Edwards 2020. All rights reserved. firstname.lastname@example.org